Hawaii dreaman'

Not Hasselhoff

Who doesn't desire this guy? In 2003 we went to Maui with our friends. This guy and his family from Wisconsin stayed in the unit above us.

Last year my wife and I went to France instead, but our friends returned to Maui. This same guy and his two annoying kids and wife were above our friends for the second consecutive year.

Their kids are out of control monsters that would thump the floor, our ceiling, all day long. They would wake up at the crack of dawn and play tag, splash about in the pool, and yell. Great, go to Maui to wake up to kids running around in unit above yours. Can't believe our friends had the pleasure of meeting them twice. That's pretty shitty luck I must say. Worst experience about them, the mom's way of calling her 2 year old, "hello baby boy" in her shrill voice. I still hear her voice in my head two years later.


Short, yet important rant: along the kids line. I do love kids and have been an uncle since I was 13. Just want to throw this out there though for people with kids or the intruding types. Please stop asking when or if my wife and I will ever have kids. It's inappropriate and none of your freaking business. I could make an entire post on this subject, but don't have it in me right now.

2065281315

In my attempt to bring the world closer to me, here's this week's installment of Egan personal data. Last week you got my padlock combination. This week you get my college phone number. This number was so popular on campus that you saw it scribed in bathrooms all over. Don't mind what they wrote before or after the number and definitely pay no attention to the drawing that would usually accompany my digits, "actual size may vary". This phone number was mine through the thick and thin first four years of college.

Photo update: no Murphy friendly photo today, but I promise there will be one tomorrow.

Foot in Mouth Disease

cuter than my feet

To be this flexible again. Spent lots of time with our friends and their kids this past weekend. Most infants tend to suck their thumbs or fingers, however Baby E. decides her toes are tastier.

I often feel like Baby E. since I'm known to put my foot in my mouth from time to time. The following is a classic tale of such a case. I routinely use Outlook shortcuts to send and manage incoming work email quickly. In my old position, we sat in groups of four at a cubicle.

My French co-worker and I would exchange* emails about our often napping cubicle mate, Mr. Tired. I kid you not Mr. Tired was always asleep on the job.

One day he was passed out cold at his desk for the last 30 minutes of his shift. In an attempt to wake him we called his phone near his head, sat on his desk and openly talked smack about him. None of this woke him up.


Fast forward in time a bit. My French co-worker and I are emailing back and forth about how lazy Mr. Tired is one summer day. I hit ALT S, a PC shortcut for Send and not Forward, and then turned around. I heard Mr. Tired's email Inbox make a noise and immediately knew I had fucked up. I sent a scathing email about Mr. Tired directly to Mr. Tired and not my intended recipient, French co-worker. Miraculously I was somehow able to explain my way out of the mistake by lying through my teeth. To this day I don't know if Mr. Tired understood my email or just downplayed the whole thing. I'm guessing he thought the whole incident was a dream.


*still exchange emails today about our new loud mouthed cubicle mate that thinks the whole world revolves around him. Salespeople are completely clueless I tell you and so are bloggers while I am at!

The Man strikes twice

Looks like my company has installed internet filters provided by Websense. I might be forced to look for new work sooner than thought. I can't stand being censored by The Man. I attempted to access www.flickr.com and got the following lame message.

"Your organization's Internet use policy restricts access to this web page at this time."

Is it just a matter of time before www.blogger.com is added to the list? Could my work blogging days be coming to an end? I sure as hell hope not. How am I supposed to keep abreast Pamela Anderson's comings and goings and those ever so interesting bras they sell at Victoria's Secret? The Man is really sticking it to me this time.

In other news: this man was just bloody dumb and maybe a tad bit drunk. The bloke wishes his only problem was blocked internet sites.

Don't let the door expose you on the way out

Bathroom doors can be puzzling sometimes. Why put the hinges on one side of the door when the other side of door would have provided some much needed privacy? There are bathrooms where the door swings right into the stand up urinal. "Hello ladies, this is me taking a leak. How are you tonight?".

Yes, I do realize some of the poorly planned doors may have to comply with our disabilities laws, but some would work just fine if hinges were moved to the other side. I frequented a restroom like this over the weekend so it's fresh in my mind. I notice there are bars around Seattle where perverted men will strategically place themselves with a direct sight line to the ladies W-C*. Unless you are Judge Reinhold or an AARP member, this is unacceptable behavior. (Somehow I do have an AARP temporary card, so I am dismissed).


*W-C= bathroom or water closet

Chicken Lots

Wow, I was so frustrated with myself. I just got back from a whirlwind trip to Philly. Why am I mad you ask? I devoured 161 chicken wings in 32 minutes and barely lost the title of Wing Bowl. Believe it or not some bastard, the five year champ named Bill Simmons, nicknamed as El Wingador chomped down 162 chicken wings in 32 minutes. I prepared all year for this community outreach eating wings whenever possible. I lived for KFC, Hooters, and various all you can eat establishments. The Wing Bowl is what makes America great. Makes me glad we live in this great land of ours. Next year El Wingador you're going down!