Boxing my fears

In an attempt to learn how the other half apparently lives, I purchased three pairs of boxer briefs and two pairs of boxers today. I will slowly rebuild my undergarment collection and replace my existing brief collection with either boxers or boxer briefs. It's a mandate given to me by my adoring fans so I can't disappoint. I will still wear briefs for soccer and other support related events.

Currently wearing: white Gap boxer briefs, non-square cut.

Hard work does get noticed

My good buddy, Teo, has been busting his ass over the past three to four weeks at his moderate paying job. At times I was disappointed he wasn't available to play more often such as last weekend when I drove down to Portland alone during rush hour. Turns out his fellow co-workers, 60 of them strong, decided to throw him a "Teo Appreciation Day" for all his hard work. I am so excited for him because it was definitely deserved. Best part of his special day wasn't just the surprise and 15 pizzas they had on hand. Get this, his co-workers all chipped in and got him $400 worth of gift certificates to REI. He didn't waste any time putting that to good use as we paid REI a visit earlier Friday night. Kudos to you Teo! Great work my friend and thanks for the gummy bears.

Cheers!

Friday is here gang. It has been an interesting week for me and flew by quite quickly. Happy to hear that Sprizee is back. Your absence was definitely noticed.

I was however unhappy the pool at my gym has been so damn busy this week. Maybe word got out that I have been conducting free swim lessons and that I swim in my birthday suit often. All lies though... or are they?

Loud mouth at the gym, please stop talking about your right wing political agenda. You are in a blue state in a liberal city numbnuts. No one wants to hear you praise the Third Reich. This guy was so loud someone "ssshhh'ed" him.

I may have found a new career as an Instant Messenger shrink. I might start charging an hourly rate soon and cash in on my words of wisdom. Or I guess I could always just go back to school. I was such a brilliant dedicated student that going back to school is clearly the best choice.

Also if anyone is feeling like a boxers vs. briefs debate, bring it on I say. I will explain why boxers are suck ass compared to briefs. Sorry, I guess I am in a bit of a surly mood because of this Nightline town hall program on ABC right now. Have a wonderful weekend all!

Cross dressing is SO today

Originally uploaded by eganf.

I great friend of mine east of the Mississippi decided to butcher a picture of mine. Then she insisted pleaded I put the photo on my site. Well here are the fruits of her labor. I guess everyone else is cross dressing so I might as well. It's amazing what foundation can do for a man's complexion.

Side note: my mom used to love to dress me up as a girl for Halloween. Since I am the second youngest of six boys and one girl, I assumed my mom hoped I would be a female. Perhaps this explains the Goldilocks nickname and why rocks were thrown in my general direction as a youngeon. Darn I make a fine woman, move over Swayze and RuPaul!

Where in the World is Sprizee Seattle?

Let the speculation begin. Sprizee has gone missing in the blog world. It has been a sad past few days I must say. I know for sure she is alive, or do I? They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. Therefore by blogging about her disappearance I am doing my part to end her writer's block. Sprizee got me turned on to this evil blogging drug and now she has gone missing. No I did not stuff her in the back of her Passat after a stressful day of work last week. No I did not drive her to the mountains and put an ether laced rag over her mouth. I did however force her to eat a quart of Breyers Butter Pecan this week. Most of you know this is her least favorite flavor of her least favorite brand of ice cream. I take exception to this and decided enough was enough.

I contacted my people and my people contacted their people and a plan was hatched. After work on Monday, a white Breyers ice cream truck waited for Ms. Sprizee to complete her shift in lovely Bellevue, WA. It was a normal busy day for Sprizee where she had a million different things going on at once. She had to coordinate with folks in India, run errands for co-workers, put up with lame officemates hanging out in her office for extended periods of time, and worst of all she was forced to Instant Message with me. Sure there are many other things she did, but I don't feel like giving all the details, trying not to arouse suspicion with the fuzz. When Sprizee came out to her Passat Monday evening they waited for the precise moment and captured her lazy ass and then bound and gagged her like they routinely do on Fox's 24. She was brought back to HQ and forced to eat Breyers ice cream from her holding cell. She still sits there to this very minute.

We are trying to break her down by any means necessary to get the next elusive post out of her, but she is a tough bitch nut to crack. She says Friday was her last post for awhile and refuses to post until she knows what she is going to do about her current work situation. My people offered to hire her for a permanent IM position, but she declined. Looks like we will need to bring in more Breyers ice cream and raid her home and remove all things pink to coerce her into a new posting.

to be continued....

The mother load

Love for my good friend in Portland runs deep. Therefore, it should come as no surprise to anyone that I asked him to be our "Minister" a few years back when my wife and I got Mauied. I spent the entire past weekend with my good buddy and fondly remember what makes him so special and adorable. I spent roughly half my college years, yes all six of them, living with this guy. We have a plethora of stories about our antics that could spawn a whole separate blog. Today I will give you a snippet of an event over the past weekend which illustrates my pal's odd antics.

So my buddy, we'll call him "Scott", bought a 4 bedroom 2 bath house at the end of last year. I was cautioned by "Scott" not to use the upstairs bathroom during the past weekend. I guess that specific toilet has issues and gets a little backed up. It was suggested I go downstairs instead. Sure.. no big deal. I come back up and "Scott" is filling a two foot high bucket half full of water. Not sure what the hell he was doing, he looks at me and explains this is the way to fix a clogged toilet. I kind of snicker to myself and think, "damn this guy has watched too much of that dreadful MacGyver show as a kid". "Scott" proceeds to take the red bucket and powerfully dump the water into the toilet. Apparently this works to remove toilet clogs using pure brute force. I looked at him still laughing inside as this failed to clear the clog and stated to him, "you know plungers only cost $3-4 and can fix that right up?" He glanced at me like the word plunger was the newest hippest word he had heard.. Off to a large do it yourself place we were. Return home and I plunge the toilet for him. Problem solved!

Sometime I will give you the famous chocoalate cake story from college. It's a timeless classic!

Proof is on the posts

Look carefully or not my friends! Picture is quite small, but a larger version is available upon request. *Oui, approval was given to me in French by the victim.*

What Not to Wear

Portland update:There are more details on this coming, but I have to put this out there. Ladies, the red silk thong on low rise jeans is NOT a good look. I don't care who you are! It doesn't matter if it's after Labor Day or before Memorial Day. The red silk thong thou neverest showest. It's like female plumber ass and last I checked crack is illegal.