Rose City visit

I am killing time 160 miles south in the great city of Portland, Oregon this weekend. Hanging out with my good pal Scott, causing mayhem, scanning old photos, taking heaps of photos, and contemplating our plan for complete world domination. Please visit Scott's blog for all the fantabulous details.

In other news I think I have convinced Scott to buy an iPod and an iBook. Where's my kickback Mr. Jobs? And I still have a beard after a week of growing.

Virgin beard

Five days into this beard growth thing, not sure if it's for me. I've been so tempted to cut the darn thing off every night this week. Not sure why I have decided to try and grow a beard. Perhaps it's because in my 20 years of facial hair, peach fuzz, I have never given it the good old college try. Maybe I am protesting Bush's lavish Inauguration Day festivities or maybe I want to look more like my dope pal Jesus. Who knows exactly what the motivations are this time, but I have come this far so there's no turning back, come hell or high water!

First beard stumbling block: last night we ate dinner with an out-of-town female friend. She thought the beard looked alright. Then she proceeded to say beards are merely just pubic hairs in a different location. I guess it's true, but now I can't stop thinking about short and curlies on my face. Maybe I need a cropping then. Can someone tell me what the hell a Brazilian is again? Isn't that how a goatee is formed?

Tough decision

To sleep or to blog? Hmmm... amazingly I think sleep is going to win out tonight thus the short entry for now. Catch you all on the flip side. Ever since I started this blog back in November, blogging has prevailed. It's time to give sleep its credit. Bonne nuit!

Lesson not quite learned #13

#13: contacts good; migraines bad. I really ought to learn from my past mistakes, but sometimes I just fail to see the light. Last night I played soccer again without my glasses or contacts. See I have a really really hard time putting contacts in my eyes. Typically I will ask my wife for assistance since I am so wimpy. It can and routinely does take me about 15-20 minutes to get those puppies in my eyes. My wife tells me there's nothing more humorous than watching me try to put them in. She wears contacts often and therefore can put them in seconds, making me feel extremely inept. I struggle to get them to work, using half a bottle of rinse solution per install. My technique: open the mouth wide in hopes that will lower the eyelids of my Cro-Magnon brow thus facilitating the installation of contacts. Yes, I do overthink the whole process. (see solution below)

Over the past couple months though I have decided to chance it and play without any vision aids. Well, damnit... that won't happen again anytime soon. Got home from our victorious effort and my vision got noticably blotchy. I now recognize this as the glorious beginning to a migraine. Opened up the medicine cabinet, downed a couple Excederin migraine tablets, drank lots of water, and went to bed. What do you know? Migraine is now gone. I had a horrible migraine last Fall so I will avoid them at all costs even if that means drinking lots of water and going to be bed before 1:30am. Yes, you are right, I will be wearing my contacts to next week's match regardless. Now you can see why I am a slow learner with this sort of stuff.

Useless ape arms

Yes, I did overdo it in my first weight lifting session in two years. My arms feel like jello today. At times I feel like it would be more useful if they were removed. Detachable appendages would be nice. I could have my "Ahnold Arms" and my scrawny arms. Currently I wish I had my agility back. My co-worker says lots of water and bananas should help. Easy enough I guess. I have a simpler solution, no more weight lifting; I will just stick to swimming.

My upper body is so freakin' sore that it hurts to turn the steering wheel while driving. Yes, I am a major wimp! If I do continue lifting weights though not a one of you can call me a wimp. If I am a muscle bound mass, I therefore am not a wimp. Sort of like if I owned a big ass 4 X 4 truck, it's logical to assume I am well endowed. (For the record I own the opposite of a 4 X 4 ... a MINI Cooper. Not sure what that says about me).

Quick, no one's looking!

So what do you do when you think no one is watching you? Talk to me folks! When you are in your car and no one's around, what do you do? Maybe you sing out loud and pick your nose simultaneously. What if you have the elevator to yourself? Do you dance around like a freak of nature? I know what I see people doing when they think no one's looking. Common things I catch others or myself doing when left "alone" are below:

pass gas
blog
smoke (cigarettes or other substances)
sing aloud
flip someone off
pick crap out of teeth
hair twirling
pop zits
adjust clothing fit (i.e. undo wedgies)
bite fingernails
dance
apply makeup
adjust the crotch
stare at a hot man/woman
stare at a certain areas of the hot man/woman
frown
cuss
fix hair
touch "privates"
litter
speed

This list was painfully difficult for me since I usually try and attract attention as close friends can attest. Just a brainstorming of sorts with this post.

I have a dream...

... that some day Martin Luther King Day will be a day off for a good majority of Americans! Why is it that not all companies give this day off? My company grants President's Day off, but not MLK Day. I mean the presidents of our country have contributed much over our young 228 years of existence, but so did Martin Luther King Jr. Let's not slight his amazing Civil Rights accomplishments by overlooking the magnitude of the man who tirelessly stood up and spoke out for what he believed in, equality for all citizens. Companies please observe this holiday as if were July 4th, Memorial Day, or Labor Day.

P.S. Don't even get me started about why we celebrate Thanksgiving Day.

Je t'aime iPod

Against all odds I decided to lift weights for the first time in about two years tonight. I swam earlier today in very chilly water at the club. In addition to my early morning swim I thought I should start lifting weights again. Can I tell you how nice it is not to be flooded with the crappy music they play in the club? I think you can imagine my excitement. Thank you iPod! Sure I've owned my iPod for over one solid year now, but I never took it to my twenty four hour fitness club before. In the past I took it running, écouted* at work, zoned out on bus rides, accompanied me in the MINI Cooper, and educated/entertained me on long cross country flights. It's best asset though is its ability to drown out the annoying hyperactive music the club plays. Now I might even enjoy lifting weights, however it won't make me any stronger. "Can I get a spot man?"

*écouted: from the French verb écouter which means to listen. So it means listened in this made up sense.