Alright, so you decide to go out and catch a flick with some friends or your significant other. You purchase your tickets with or without talking to a human. You grab some snacks, but make sure to avoid the heat lamp nachos, and head into the movie. This night it happened to be The Incredibles. We get comfortable and really are enjoying this wonderful Pixar movie when I can't help to notice a beacon of light in the crowd. Yes, you got it.. it's a freakin' cell phone. Apparently it's all the rage these days to text message everyone in your Address Book while at a movie. Okay, during one of those lame 3.5 hour Lord of the Rings movies.. I understand. That will be the only exception to the rule though. I don't want to see phones on any other time though. I don't give a rats ass why you are checking, but you can't be that damn important can you? Doctors, nurses, lawyers, and priests.. you just shouldn't go out to the movies when you are expecting a call from patients or God.
Alright.. now please try and arrive early and finish eating all that noisy junk food before the movie commences. Please don't sit there throughout the entire movie passing out Skittles to your seven closest friends. That's not a quiet candy to eat. Try cotton candy you fools or finish before the 10-15 minutes of previews are complete. Examples of what not to eat include: red vines, Skittles, M&M's, Whoppers, nachos, hamburgers, canned pop, and Hot Tamales. Acceptable foods include: popcorn, JujiFruits, Dots, Sugar Babies, pop/soda (fountain variety) or anything that requires a finger swipe.
Fortune tellers unite: I am so happy you may or may not have the movie figured out, but for the love of God... keep your palm reading to yourself. I watched Cast Away when it came out in the theatres. The "genius" behind me decided he would vocalize his thoughts during the whole movie. Great, I am glad you can read sir, but can you please keep your loud comments in your head. Yes, Tom Hanks character will make it back to land. It's not a French film buddy. If it were a French film though, Mr. Hanks character would have died at sea as Gerard Depardieu looked down from above.
Tonight the same sort of thing happened again, noisy neighbors. During The Incredibles, the woman sitting next to my nephew couldn't stop laughing. The movie was very funny... I will give her that. However, there were a few scenes that weren't funny at all and she was dying. I had a feeling she was there with some geeky dude she met on the internetS so I let it go. It seemed to me they thought they were alone in the theatre and couldn't care less about anyone else watching. I'm guessing they are two of the infamous 59 million, if you know where I am going with that.. wink wink nudge nudge.
There are other typical movie pet peeves such as frequent bathroom trips, all the usual cell phone issues, sitting in handicap seats when you are clearly an able-bodied person, seat kicking, crying babies, and armrest stealing. At any rate: two thumbs way up for The Incredibles!
