Cake Bitch

I had have many nicknames in my life, but today I got a new one from my wife. I was referred to as Cake Bitch for my efforts. I happened to run an errand for her off-site meeting today by bringing her a Simply Desserts cake to their meeting location. My reward was the new nickname, Cake Bitch. Got me to thinking about other nicknames I have had in my 31 years on this corner of the globe.

Monkey Boy: earned by college buddies for a sober college prank. Needs to be seen to understand.
New Spontaneous Egan (N.S.E.): a classic rebirth of my hyper self.
Post Kaelyn Egan (P.K.E.): post college girlfriend rebirth. Started out dark and then morphed into NSE.
Snaggle Baggle: possibly my first nickname. Got this one in grade school from a kid on my soccer team. I don't know why!
Goldilocks: grade school nickname based on my blond afro.
Yves Diplieux: club name provided to lucky underage women.
E-FO: My Jennifer Lopez imitation and most widely used nickname currently.
Egy: (pronounced eegee) : given to my by my wife's friend's friend. Didn't annoy me in the least bit.
Dr. Egon Spengler: given to me after the Ghostbusters movie came out. It was the name of Harold Ramis's character.
Brownie Boy/Dessert Guy: earned by driving all over Seattle during college delivering baked chocolate goodies.

These are all the nicknames my brain can remember at this time. I have typically enjoyed my nicknames over the years and very few have been negative. I must admit Goldilocks was the only one that really got under my skin. Why couldn't my mom and dad just give me a decent haircut when I was young. I must confess I had an affinity for porridge long before that old dude from Cocoon told me eating it was the right thing to do.